Mal: If anyone gets nosy, just, you know... shoot 'em.
Zoë: Shoot 'em?
Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here.
Zoë: Proximity alert. Must be coming up on something.
Wash: [alarmed] Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!? [deadpan] Oh right, that would be me. Back to work.
Kaylee: Yessir, Captain Tight Pants.
River: The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
Mal: See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.
Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.
Mal: Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!
Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and peopl